I am Happiest When I am Honest with Myself

Here's the deal.  I have what I zealously refer to as an addictive personality.  I carelessly tell people that if I were a drinking person, I would be a lush.  While this is a casual and carelessly referenced bit of useless information that I hope is only somewhat true about me (and gives people a bad impression of me), I need to make a confession.  I am addicted to Ambien and junk food.  The Ambien confession will have to be addressed in a different post but I would like to talk about the food.  That "new lifestyle" I was just telling you about, is killing me softly (and privately).  The HCG makes me a crazier version of myself.  I think Taylor knows exactly what I am talking about, but I don't want to allow him an easy out of mental "stick-to-itedness" like his mother.  The HCG makes me feel like I am having an out-of-body experience.  And really, whether this is just an excuse or not, I wasn't losing any weight on it anyway.  And my best excuse is that it was making my blood pressure higher and I couldn't speak a sentence without studdering.  But just because I am not going to keep taking those nasty pills, gives me no excuse to start eating sugar, fat and carbs until I am sick.  Really?  You should have seen me at the grocery store yesterday when I decided to find another way to lose a few pounds.  I stayed away from too much fat, but wow, THE SUGAR was calling me by name.  It knows me, it loves, me and it wraps itself around me until I can't stand it any longer and I fall.  No willpower.  Do you think there is a way to disable the taste bud on my tongue that makes sugar such a narcotic? If there is and you know about it, you better fess up and let me in on the secret.  Where does willpower come from anyway?  I need a heavy dose of it.  I need to stick to it and be healthier.  For my families sake as well as my own.  God give me the strength!!!  But, as I play the happy game, I am happy to report that I have exercised every morning this week so far.  How is that for a positive attitude?

I am Happiest When I am getting Healthy

Vitamix 5200 Super - Healthy Lifestyle

Yes folks, we bought a blender on steroids.  Supposedly this puppy can grind a cell phone to powder. Steve and I have decided we are going to have to do something to start enjoying a healthy lifestyle.  We decided we were going to go on the HCG diet for 3 weeks to get it jumpstarted.  So off we went on Tuesday night to buy us some HCG drops.  We found ourselves at Costco picking up some fruit and veggies and there it was.....this superdooper blender of all blenders promising whole food health and recipies that will inspire us.  When you are just starting a "healthy lifestyle" (we don't want to use the term diet) you can be very vulnerable.  People take advantage of that.  So here we are whole, inspired and broke individuals about to embark on a "Healthy Lifestyle" that we have since decided will be called.... the Eat Shiz and Live 7 year warranty, no risk guaranteed DIET.

Day one

The morning went quite well actually.  Of course this is the first of a two day "binge" in which you eat absolutely anything you want and gorge yourself of all the fat pigout foods you want.  Then the afternoon meal is upon me, I take out my drops and give them a whiff..........oh wow.....maybe Taylor was right, they kinda do smell like doggie do do.  But I was brave and put that one ml of a dropper full into my mouth and gave it a squeeze.  OH MY H***, this zingy horrible fake chocolately rancid taste filled my mouth.  So now really?  Who cares if I wash it down with something?  I commence breaking the first rule.  Then the taste won't go away.  No matter what I eat. No matter what I drink. No matter WHAT!  Well, it won't beat me.  I broke the second rule the next meal and I put the dropper full of "shiz" into a gelatin capsule and swollowed it whole.  So there. 

Evening came and we wanted a snack.  We went to our incredible no risk guaranteed power blender to whip us up some inspired goodness.  (Remember we can eat what we want for two days).  MMMM...bananas, spinach, oranges, and strawberries with some fresh blueberries and some yogurt go into the machine.  I am doing very well.  It is the most horrid color but that doesn't scare me.  Steve comes into the kitchen to give me a hand.  "It needs more ice" he states.  I pull the top off while he goes to get it.  He turns around and flips the switch and all that brown goodness flies all over my kitchen.  What makes it worse is that Taylor was standing there and it squirted him all down the front of his shirt and pants.  He started to laugh and I have never heard him laugh this hard before.  He was almost in tears.  I am happy and glad to report on my "glad blog" that today I did indeed hear my son Taylor laugh the hardest I have ever heard or seen.  It was worth it.

Of course, the one who makes the mess, cleans it up!!!!! 

So far day two is going well.  I will keep you posted.



I am Happiest When I am Reverent

Do you remember Casper, Jasper and Pennywhistle from the old Primary/Sunday School days.  My mom was a chorister when I was in Sunbeams and I would love to sit on the front row and watch her lead the singing.  This is the one and only time my mom was my teacher in primary.  I have many memories of music that we had then that we don't have now. I still have those books today.  One of my very favorite is the big yellow book that was dedicated to Happy Little Children Everywhere written by Alene Dalton. 
It had songs like Spot (I've got something that you haven't got, it's a little puppy and I call him Spot), Jumbo Elephant, Mr. Jack-o-lantern, Washington and Lincoln, Bunny Fluffy Bunny, The Postman, and the Kerchoo song to name but a few.  It has the most gorgeous color pictures too.

 https://acrobat.com/#d=y5DBYoDnVosaBGsSBlSO5g

Well, my Missionary Mom friends had a conversation about those famous little church mice, Casper, Jasper and Pennywhistle. I knew I had this in my files and I looked and looked. Finally I found my copy. It was so old and faded that I decided to retype it. Here it is for your enjoyment. It is all about Reverence in the Chapel.  After the story you could really have a great discussion about what Reverence really is.

 I also found a great poem about a mouse riding to church in your pocket from the Friend in 1996.  It is really cute.

WHAT IF.......? by DaLee C. James, Friend, Sep. 1996

If a mouse could ride to church

In your pocket on this day,

What might he tell his family

That he heard you do or say?

Would he tell them you were reverent,

And you listened to your teacher?

Or would he say he’d never seen

Such a noisy creature?

Would he tell them how he loved the songs

You sang so sweet and clear?

Or would he groan from all the talking

That entered in his ear?

Could he take a little snooze

As you walked nice and tall?

Or would he scream with panic

As you galloped down the hall?

Would the little mouse get seasick

From the tipping of your chair?

Or would he feel safe and cozy

As you quietly sat there?

Would the chapel be a reverent place?

The sacrament the same?

Now tell me, would the little mouse

Be really glad he came?

If a mouse would ride to church

in your pocket on this day,

What might he tell his family

That he heard you do or say?

http://churchbabies.blogspot.com/2007/09/38-i-can-be-reverent.html

This is another great link for pictures for primary.