Why Can't I enjoy my own Fabulous Party?
The good news is that I am able to throw a party. I am organized, I have great ideas, I can see
what needs to be done and do it. I put
in the effort to make it beautiful, complete with matching tablecloths, dishes,
flowers, and over-the-top food. I work
hard, and I have friends and family that will be there for the party I am
throwing because they love me and trust that they will have a good time when
they get there. They will help me with
whatever I ask them to bring or do. I am
the consequential “Hostess with the Mostest”.
The bad news is that before the party even gets started I
change my mind and decide not to do it because no one will come anyway, but in
my head, it has the potential to be a fabulous party. If I do happen to push through the doubt and
throw the party regardless, I am worried about people showing up. I am so worried about everyone having a good
time that I completely sabotage my own ability to enjoy it. And to top it all off with a cherry, when the
party is over, I worry and analyze all of the things I said, or didn’t
say. I worry that people are feeling
like it was a boring party. I tell
myself I don’t ever want to do it again because no one appreciates it anyway
and they will be talking for a month about how sad it is that I don’t know what
a bad party it really was. I am completely,
one hundred percent sure I know what they are thinking.
What stops me from completing something I want most? What keeps me from being happy in the present
moment? What causes me to distrust
relationships that are most important to me?
In a nutshell, I worry way too much.
What gives me the greatest sense of accomplishment? What enables me to carry on and endure the
day or weather any storm? What great
gift do I possess that makes me successful?
Simply put, being organized and working hard.
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