Remember in your heart and it will stay there forever.

The Regular, Rare and Remarkable

Friday, May 18, 2012

I am happiest when I am Enjoying the Party



Why Can't I enjoy my own Fabulous Party?

The good news is that I am able to throw a party.  I am organized, I have great ideas, I can see what needs to be done and do it.  I put in the effort to make it beautiful, complete with matching tablecloths, dishes, flowers, and over-the-top food.  I work hard, and I have friends and family that will be there for the party I am throwing because they love me and trust that they will have a good time when they get there.  They will help me with whatever I ask them to bring or do.  I am the consequential “Hostess with the Mostest”. 

The bad news is that before the party even gets started I change my mind and decide not to do it because no one will come anyway, but in my head, it has the potential to be a fabulous party.  If I do happen to push through the doubt and throw the party regardless, I am worried about people showing up.  I am so worried about everyone having a good time that I completely sabotage my own ability to enjoy it.  And to top it all off with a cherry, when the party is over, I worry and analyze all of the things I said, or didn’t say.  I worry that people are feeling like it was a boring party.  I tell myself I don’t ever want to do it again because no one appreciates it anyway and they will be talking for a month about how sad it is that I don’t know what a bad party it really was.  I am completely, one hundred percent sure I know what they are thinking.

What stops me from completing something I want most?  What keeps me from being happy in the present moment?  What causes me to distrust relationships that are most important to me?  In a nutshell, I worry way too much.

What gives me the greatest sense of accomplishment?  What enables me to carry on and endure the day or weather any storm?  What great gift do I possess that makes me successful?  Simply put, being organized and working hard.

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