Only the Perfect Man should Apply
WANTED: One male, born between 1958-1961. Must have good looks, be coordinated, and good at sports. Must be able to win prizes at the county fair for his wife, children or grandchildren. Must be on the shorter side, and like to dance. Must be very loyal and trustworthy, smart, and good with numbers. Must be willing to help kids with Math and Science with a willingness to instill in them a love for these subjects. Needs basic cooking skills and a desire to help in that area if necessary. If you can’t work with wood, do all handy-man tasks, and have a basic knowledge of mechanics and electricity, please don’t apply. Must put your wife and family first above all else. Must never complain about the tidiness and cleanliness of your surroundings. Must have a charming personality when needed. Must always give your wife a helping hand when you notice she needs it. Must be willing to give great financial advice and be frugal but indulging with your wife. Must have confidence in yourself and in your wife. Needs to be smart with money and have a working knowledge of computers, printers, fax machines, telephone systems, modems, routers, and lawn mowers . Needs plumbing experience and be comfortable around toilets, pipes, sinks and tubs. Especially looking for a blue collar attitude with a white collar job and a love for all people. Excellent speaking skills are required. Most of all, you must be willing to submit to the crazy, nutty whims of the females that will be in your life and be a solid and staunch supporter of all youth in the home. Must be courageous and brave and know how to use a gun if the need arises. Must be willing to stay up late waiting for children so your wife can go to bed when she is tired. Must be strong enough to lift your wife and put her to bed when needed. Must be a worthy priesthood holder with a strong testimony of forever families.